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Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Surprise Stud: The Hasian

We all remember my affinity for nicknames, and while my post about The Hinge was wildly popular (seriously, I get like a billion hits a day from people Googling “attractive ginger man”), I wouldn’t feel right about myself if I didn’t divulge my obsession with all things unexpectedly hot.

Enter: The Hasian.

Like everyone else in the world, I have a certain type of person that I gravitate toward in terms of romantic prospects. That search is over now, because I hit the jackpot and my boyfriend is a babe and a half, but I am human and I can’t help but notice if a passerby happens to be above average in terms of man-beauty. If this person is Asian? Even better.
A Hasian, like a Hinge, is a Hot Asian. Quite honestly, I can’t really describe what it takes to be a Hasian, but when you see one, you just know. The barback at the dive bar that we frequent on Thursday nights, for example, is a huge Hasian. Like, when we were all single, my friends and I would actually, seriously, actively pursue him…to no avail. He has black, silky, flowing Lion O-from-the-Thundercats hair, noticeable biceps, and a look on his face that just says, “I am super Americanized, but I still dominated as first chair in my high school orchestra.” Not one non-Asian girl ever disagreed with his Hasian status, while every Asian girl (and there are maybe 5 in the city of Louisville) pushed us out of the way to get a piece of him. They always won. Damnit.

Celebrity examples of Hasians include Daniel Dae Kim from “Lost,” B.D. Wong from “Law and Order: SVU,” and John Cho from the “Harold and Kumar” movies. Honesty Hour: I also have an awkward crush on Ken Jeong from “The Hangover” because I can’t leave any social gathering without proclaiming “Toodle-oo muthafuckaaaaaaz!” to the entire room.

My boyfriend doesn’t necessarily have to worry about me leaving him for some sexy Asian pop star, but I think it’s only fair to him and the rest of the Chinese/Japanese/Vietnamese/Korean/Thai/Cambodian/etc. community to share that Harajuku girls are not the only ones who want some Hasian in their lives. Ladies, take note: a hot Asian man is smart, classy, and can probably breakdance like an effing champ. What’s not to love?

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