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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Love and Order CVU: Creeper Victim's Unit - Rate My Date

After the story of my embarrassing life hit the internet, I was inundated with texts and Facebook messages from other girls who had experienced similarly catastrophic dates. In the interest of group commiseration, I decided to create a series that would tell other girls that they're not alone, and tell weird guys that maybe they should pump the brakes a smidge. If you have a story that you would like shared, feel free to send it my way!
In the Serial Dating System, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: the bros who do creepy shit and the ladies who have to text their friends, "SAVE MEEE." These are their stories.

My friend had tried for a year to set me up with this guy she had dated a few times before she met her current boyfriend. I finally agreed, and she gave me his number so we could start talking.
We agree to meet for drinks one night at around 7 p.m. He texts me at 6 saying he is having dinner with his dad and will be late so we would meet at 9 instead. At 8:55 he calls to say he's almost there and he will text me as he is walking in. He actually doesn't end up getting there until almost 10.
I had made an effort to look nice, wearing heels and a nice top. He was in ratty Pumas and an Under Armour hoodie. He proceeded to talk about himself for three hours, all while we were sitting outside on a patio in the cold and not bothering to ask if I was chilly (not that I wanted to wear the hoodie, but it's the principle of the thing).
I finally gave him the hint I was ready to go home. He kept texting me asking to meet up again, and told me I was a "solid 8.5 to his perfect 10," and felt that with time I could "rank even higher."
--Bo Derek

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