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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Surprise Stud: Jason Mraz

From listening to him speak, you would think that Jason Mraz was a quintessential over-emotional, my-guitar-communicates-my-pain, I’ve-dated-Taylor-Swift musician. He sounds like he voluntarily reads bedtime stories to terminally ill children every Wednesday night and has three pet Dollface Persian Kittens.  

This sweet and smooth voice is very deceiving.
The guy is a freak.

We’ve all listened to his radio hits and just thought they were poppy little songs showcasing Mraz’s impeccable diction. False. They are so effing sexual. “I can save you from unoriginal dum-dums/Who wouldn't care if you com...plete them or not”? “I'm yearning to turn you on/I've been working on getting you off, so get on board”? Jason Mraz isn’t a virgin?! This is worse than when I found out Jason the Red Ranger became a porn star.

When he’s not banging hot chicks, we’d all like to believe that Mraz was planting peonies in his garden. If by “peonies” we meant “marijuana,” we’d be right. He’s a huge pothead! In 2009, he marched to “Free the Weed” and has been quoted as saying, “Pot laws are ridiculous.” He’s even been arrested for possession! What?! I guess this explains his laid-back vibe and brings a whole new meaning to his song “Live High.”

He first premiered on the scene with “The Remedy” and basically looked like every half-cool college guy with an ironic t-shirt who got his hair trimmed every six weeks. Now, he’s coming at us with Jesus hair, hippie beanies, and an array of philanthropic work that makes Dave Matthews look like Hitler. His scruffy man-beard is a thing of beauty. I have to congratulate Mr. A to Z on keeping up appearances for so long, because it’s quite obvious that now that he’s achieved repeated success, he’s going for the gusto and letting it all hang out. I can’t knock him for being a bit of a manwhore or being a fan of the ganja, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t all take me by surprise. For some reason, I expect these things out of John Mayer…but then again, he is THE quintessential over-emotional, my-guitar-communicates-my-pain, I’ve-dated-Taylor-Swift musician. Score one for Jason. 

1 comment:

Say it don't spray it