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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives Drinking Game

It’s no secret that I have a borderline unhealthy obsession with “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives” on the Food Network (only to be eclipsed by “Chopped,” which I have seen every episode of seven times and it’d be great if I was lying). My sophomore year of college, I would run on the treadmill while flipping back and forth between this piece of beautiful culinary television and “Man vs. Food” on the Travel Channel, pumping the speed up to eight miles per hour and ignoring the fact that this ironic combo was probably the reason why I have never and will never have six pack abs.
Watching the show as much as I do, I have become the self-proclaimed master on all things Guy Fieri. Some days I can’t stand him, others I wish he would tickle me with his bi-colored goatee and tell me I’m pretty. To be fair, that can be said for a lot of people.
Food and alcohol pairings are extremely sophisticated, which is why I can’t think of a better way to spend the next Saturday afternoon Triple D marathon than by cracking open a Bud Light and playing the Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives Drinking Game.
  • You think,’ Is he actually driving that Chevy Camaro while talking to the camera? Seems unsafe’ Drink!
  • “Hey it’s Guy Fieri and we’re rollin out” – Drink!
  • His sunglasses are on backwards – Drink!
  • We all go to Flavor Town – Drink!
  • He condescendingly describes how to put together a marinara sauce – Drink!   
  • “Everybody in the pool” – Drink!
  • He flirts with a female chef, regardless of her attractiveness and/or sexual orientation – Drink 2!
  • The chef clearly despises him – Drink 5!
  • One of his celebrity chef buddies makes a “random” guest appearance – Drink 2!
  • He assumes The Hunch position – Drink!
  • “Love, Peace, and Taco Grease” – Drink!
  • You think, ‘He’ll probably suffocate on that huge bite of sandwich he just took’ – Drink!
  • He jokes, “Do I have a little something on my face?” when it’s obviously everywhere – Drink 2!
  • Something is so delicious he just grunts and points forcefully at the plate – Drink!
  • He makes a dramatic display of the fact that he doesn’t like eggs – Drink 2!
  • He mentions his college days at UNLV –Drink 2!
  • He claims a sauce is so good that it could be eaten on a flip-flop – Drink!
  • Something delicious is described as “Money!” – Drink!
  • “Winner winner _______ dinner” – Drink 2!  
  • He mentions his sons Hunter and Ryder – Drink 2!
  • The end-of-show blooper reel rolls – CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!

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